You can expect to have to repeat this conversation in various forms over time, as your child adjusts. When he cries about the smallest thing, be aware that he is carrying around a backpack full of grief and anger that needs to come out somehow.Don't make him feel analyzed by telling him that he's really mad about the divorce, but simply empathize: "Mom and Dad decided that they could not live in the same house any longer.....Keep re-affirming it to your ex as you model maturity in all of your interactions.This will take great maturity, but think of it as in the best interests of your child. For instance, try to avoid litigation, which creates a more adversarial relationship, and instead use mediation.
What matters most, however, is that the child can express her distress about separation from the other parent and receive understanding from the parent she is with.
The good news is that we know how to avoid these outcomes, because we know what the risk factors are that leave kids scarred.
The bad news is that avoiding these risks takes enormous maturity on the part of both parents.
The top risk factors for kids when parents divorce are: You may not be marital partners, but you will always be child-raising partners.
Keep reaffirming this to yourself every time you get mad at your ex.