Date like it's 1955, whether it's with someone new, or with your current partner or spouse.
Go to the movies, take a walk in the park, go skiing together, but slow down and give the intimacy a chance to develop.
Expect to be terrified to have sex, and let that be one more thing you can laugh with your partner about.”Sarah, a 50-year-old British chef living in Westwood who has spent a great deal of time in cognitive behavioral therapy as well as 10 years in AA, says that she found the “old fashioned tips” worked best for her.
“I got sober at 40, had never been married, and had only ever fallen into bed with guys when shitfaced drunk,” she says. I had no idea how to function in the real world, so I just swallowed up every little piece of advice I could, confided in my sponsor, and started doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.” Sarah’s tips, many of which were also suggested by the experts interviewed in this article, include: avoid dating fellow 12-Steppers and alcoholics and addicts who are using, make the first date a coffee or lunch—in the day, with an easy get-out clause should it turn out you never want to see this person again. Belisa warn against guessing what your partner is feeling (a “skill” addicts tend to think they have), and advocate open and clear communication.
Capo By The Sea offers an executive rehab program complete with medical detox and a focus on dual-diagnosis issues, as well as an outpatient option in an environment that exudes the kind of beach house optimism one would expect from an Orange County recovery outfit.
This So Cal rehab fosters a regimented but respectful recovery environment, where teens learn how to live sober through plenty of 12-step meetings and life-skills classes—not to mention "equine-assisted psychotherapy" and mixed martial arts.
An alternative to 12-step programs, Gulf Breeze Recovery offers panoramic ocean views in a caring and therapeutic environment.
Housing up to 26 residential guests, this luxury facility offers a choice of semi-private or private rooms with or without ocean views.
Also, talk over your feelings with your sponsor, and utilize step 10 inventories for complex emotions.“'Two sickies don’t make a welly,’ my 80-year-old sponsor used to say.” According to James, a 33-year-old photographer from Los Angeles who’s been sober for eight years, when he first came to AA he listened to what his sponsor told him and religiously avoided dating women in the program.He didn’t date anyone at all for the first six months—he was in a Salvation Army men’s rehab anyway, so it wasn't like he had much of a choice.If I had a Higher Power, it was helping other people and getting out of my head and out of this “me” mentality—the selfishness that you have when you’re a using alcoholic.I think it’s no coincidence I met my wife while I was volunteering, had no time for myself, and dating was the last thing on my mind.” Patti, a 27-year-old from New York with four years of sobriety in NA, says that after getting sober, she found it hard not to be drawn to the same kind of train wreck relationships of her using years.